How to Ask for Accommodations: Trauma-Aware Scripts That Work
You need an accommodation. Asking feels risky. That’s normal. You can make it safer by preparing your body, your words, and an exit plan.
What you should know
Employers must provide reasonable accommodations to qualified employees with disabilities unless it causes undue hardship. That’s the legal standard in the U.S. under the ADA and enforced by the EEOC. EEOC+1
You do not have to use legal language or even say “ADA.” Plain language works fine. Say what you need and why it helps you perform. The Job Accommodation Network gives practical scripts and sample letters you can copy. Job Accommodation Network+1
Use trauma-informed preparation before you ask. Ground your nervous system first so you can speak clearly and notice when safety drops. SAMHSA’s guidance on trauma-informed approaches is a good reference for principles. SAMHSA
Three-step framework
Prep — 60 seconds to self-regulate. Slow breath. Press your anchor if you use one. Notice one physical cue and soften it. This reduces reactivity so the conversation stays practical.
Ask — Plain short script. State the problem. Offer an accommodation idea. Invite alternatives. Keep emotion out of the first ask.
Exit — If you get resistance say thanks, document the response, and step away to regroup. Follow up in writing if you need to.
Scripts
Workplace
“I’ve been managing health symptoms that affect my focus and energy. I’d like to request [specific accommodation] so I can continue doing my best work. Would that be possible? If not, can we discuss alternatives?”
(Example: “I’d like to shift my start time by 30 minutes on heavy-sleep nights.”)
Family or household
“I need support so I can manage my energy. Can you help by doing [specific task] on [days/times]? If that won’t work let’s brainstorm another option.”
With a clinician
“I want to explore non-drug and mind-body strategies alongside medication. Can we review options and make a plan that feels safe for me?”
Quick tips
Keep it short. People respond to clarity.
Offer one concrete option plus one fallback. That helps negotiation.
Document the conversation afterward by email or note. JAN recommends simple written requests as evidence. Job Accommodation Network
If you expect strong emotional reactions, bring a support person or practice the script once with someone you trust.
This is educational not legal advice. If you need legal advocacy contact local disability-rights services or a labor attorney.
Want the full copy-and-paste script pack with versions for HR and doctors? DM “SCRIPT” + I’ll send it your way!
