Your Teen Thinks You're Cringe (And... They Might Be Right)

Your teen thinks you’re a mess.

Not just a little scatterbrained or “quirky”, no a full-blown, caffeine-fueled, sock-finding, appointment-forgetting, snack-policing, unpredictable force of midlife nature. And honestly? Their not entirely wrong.

To them, you are a mystery wrapped in leggings. One moment you’re crying at a dog food commercial, the next you’re rage-cleaning the kitchen while blasting Alanis like it’s 1999 and someone just told you to smile more.

And you know what? We get it. Because we are you. Welcome to The Couch Club, where your fluctuating hormones are the guest of honor, and judgment is left at the door (right next to your bra, probably).

Let’s break down a few things your teen sees in you—and why they might actually be onto something.

1. You’re Always Tired

They think you’re lazy. You think you’re on hour 47 of a day that started in 2004. You say “I’m just resting my eyes,” but really, you’re running a full system reboot in 90-second intervals between TikTok tutorials and slamming the washing machine door.

They roll their eyes when you nap on the couch at 3pm. What they don’t know is your body just attempted to produce estrogen and it short-circuited your entire personality.

Verdict: Not lazy. Just hormonally hijacked and perpetually running on hope and carbs.

2. You’re Moody AF

To your teen, you are the human equivalent of an unskippable YouTube ad: loud, unpredictable, and always appearing at the worst time.

But listen, they slam their door when someone breathes too loudly. You tear up because someone said “take your time” at the grocery store. We’re all dealing with a lot, kiddo.

Verdict: Yes, you’re moody. But so are they. Apple, meet tree.

3. You’re Always Talking About the Past

You say “back in my day” like it’s a reflex. You tell stories that begin with, “When I was your age…” as if you're opening the dusty scroll of all human knowledge. Shit it happened to me too 😒

And your teen thinks this is both embarrassing and deeply irrelevant. But here’s the truth: you’re trying to remember who you were before everyone needed something from you every damn minute of the day. Telling these stories is you leaving breadcrumb trails back to yourself.

Verdict: Nostalgic? Sure. Desperate to not vanish into the role of ‘household function robot’? Definitely.

4. You’re Always on the Couch

Ah yes. The couch. Your throne. Your command center. Your sanctuary.

To your teen, this is proof you’ve given up. But you know better. The couch is your place to be. To remember you have a body that’s allowed to sit. To breathe without being productive. To not do, but just exist.

And in a world that tells women their worth comes from how much they give, this is the most radical act of all.

Verdict: Couch queen. Burnout survivor. Still standing (or lying down, whatever).

So, Are They Right?

Yeah. A little.

But here’s the twist: what they see as chaos is actually transformation. What they think is falling apart is really breaking through. You're not a mess, you're mid-metamorphosis. (And yes, it's hot, uncomfortable, and weird.)

They don’t get it yet. But one day, they’ll look back and think, “Damn, my mom was going through it and still showed up.” And maybe, just maybe, they’ll get on their own couch someday and finally understand.

Until then, take your seat. You’ve earned it. And we’ve got snacks.

Welcome to The Couch Club.
We’re not fixing you. We’re finally letting you be.

Want more real talk and zero shame? Stay tuned, subscribe, and for the love of progesterone, take the damn nap.